Author Topic: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking  (Read 29459 times)

smirnoff

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2009, 09:59:32 PM »
Heh no, but someone should be.

Junior

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #41 on: June 28, 2009, 10:05:56 PM »
If I saw that still of farmboy VD I wouldn't have guessed it was him. Wow.
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Thor

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #42 on: June 29, 2009, 08:34:56 PM »
I would honestly pay to read these.

I thought your Van Damme selection was a little small though. How about including Universal Soldier? Then you can include Dolph, too.

Definitely excited for a run-through of Last Action Hero. Too good.
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Tequila

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #43 on: June 29, 2009, 09:04:56 PM »
that sounds almost worth seeing!
Not really. It's basically the same thing as Bloodsport only in PG13, an incredibly cheap period setting and Roger Moore as some sort of pirate. Go with the other Dux!
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smirnoff

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #44 on: June 29, 2009, 09:10:10 PM »
I would honestly pay to read these.

I thought your Van Damme selection was a little small though. How about including Universal Soldier? Then you can include Dolph, too.
;D

And Universal Soldier is a good idea. Van Damme is too cool to not to have a quality movie in this marathon. So I'll fit it in somewhere. :)

smirnoff

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #45 on: June 29, 2009, 09:12:16 PM »
I'm starting to think I could make this marathon a loooooooooooooot longer and not get tired of it, but I won't get ahead of myself :)

FroHam X

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #46 on: June 29, 2009, 09:39:22 PM »
You should totally get ahead of yourself!
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smirnoff

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #47 on: June 30, 2009, 10:48:51 PM »
Boiling Point

Going by the cover you might believe, as I did, that this would be an action movie. I mean it's Wesley Snipes holding a big gun, what else could it be? A hoax, that's what.

Number of Gunshots: 6 or 7
Number of people killed: 5ish
Number of Punches or Kicks thrown: 0
Number of panzy ass slaps: 1
Number of explosions: 1
Number of car chases: 0
Number of good one liners: 0
Number of exposed boobs: 0
Reasons left to watch film: 0

If you total that all up it equals about 7 minutes of the 92 minute movie. Lemme show you the rest of the movie.

It all starts with a carefully planned undercover operation.


"The guy is coming"
"Yeah, I seen him"
"Do you think he can see us?"


BANG!
"Yeah, I think he saw us"


"Russo is dead!"
"It's like the guy KNEW it was a sting!"

Now that's not exactly how it plays out, but that's how I saw it. In any case it's the event that drives the rest of the film. Snipes is determined to catch the guy who killed Russo. And he does so not with the power of the punch but with the power of persuasion. I'm not kidding. He's basically Obi-wan Kenobi in this movie. It's one scene after another of him somehow getting his way.

"Oh hello ex-husband. What do you want?
"Let me in, I want to see my kid."
"He's sleeping, so bugger off!"
"My partner died tonight"
"Please come in"



"Listen hotshot. That little operation of yours was crap. You're off the case."
"Aw captain, gimme another chance!"
"No way. Get packed. You're going to Newark. And if you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!"
"Pretty please captain!"
"Okay fine, you've got one week to solve this case."



"I want to know what you know."
"I'm not telling you what I know."
"You're going to tell me."
"I'm never going to tell you!"
"Tell me."
"Okay."



"I was told you had information we need."
"I don't have any information you need."
"Give me the information."
"I'm no rat! I'll never tell you anything you c*cksucker, motherf*cker! Never!"
"I won't ask again."
"Okay here's what I know..."



"I told you! Jiffy Pop goes on the stove, not in the microwave!"



"I hear you deal counterfeit bills"
"What's counterfeit mean?"
"Don't play dumb with me"
"What's don't?"
"...."
"Do you want that in 50's or 100's?"



"Have sex with me."
"Okay"



"I have dirt on you"
"I'm a lawyer. I know my rights. I won't say a god damn word"
"Speak!"
"3450 East 1st street, 7:30pm!"




"You again? Why are you here?"
"It's almost the last scene of the movie, and I need a reason not to die"
"Please come in."



I actually like this scene. How many times have you seen a guy get shot, look dead, and then come back to life and get a shot off? None of that BS here. Hit him in the head, shoot him in the chest, and then shoot him in the head. Now he's dead for sure. Zombie dead even.



"We know you're behind everything"
"Who told you that?"
"A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend....."
"I'll show you to the last scene. Follow me"




"Dude, the captain said we had to be more stealthy than last time. I can see your ear piece!"
"Well I can see you talking into your wrist, so stfu!"



May the force be with you. Always.


Viggo was about the only good in this movie. If you ask me, Dennis Hopper isn't much of an actor. All in all Boiling Point was a very lame experience, and unfortunately didn't give much to talk about. :-\
« Last Edit: June 08, 2010, 09:22:05 PM by smirnoff »

duder

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #48 on: June 30, 2009, 10:51:45 PM »
Wesley Snipes can be very persuasive.
...

Tequila

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Re: Bullets & Biceps: A Marathon Of Ass Kicking
« Reply #49 on: July 01, 2009, 03:48:44 AM »
Wow, that sounds dull. Things can only get better with Cyborg 2.
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