For context, I posted this on Faceboook:
Feminism: Women shouldn't be forced into feminine gender roles.
Also Feminism: If a man feels aggrieved because women openly discriminate against him romantically because he doesn't accord with masculine gender roles, he's a "nice" guy misogynist.
I don't believe either of these are mischaracterizations of popular assertions within feminism, though obviously the juxtaposition is meant to stir some thought. Like, there are some bad, entitled men who think by being nice they merit romantic payoff. But I feel like this group overlaps with another (just based on how they process it) of more feminine men that thus gets similarly labeled. My concern isn't that individual women prefer masculine men who aggressively pursue/initiate physically, my concern is the broader social setting that mostly demands this which in turn disadvantages feminine men structurally.
Anyway, one friend accused me of mansplaining feminism to "us."
I get mansplaining as used to label some rando on twitter who tries to correct a female astrophysicist about space. I don't think it works so well when used by a cis-woman to try to tell a queer man that he isn't allowed to make a critique of feminism because he is a man. That cheapens the term for its more important use and puts up a "Cis-girls only club" sign at the door of feminism. If one is supposed to buy the "feminism is about equality, not zero-sum advancement of women" line, it needs to be open to critique over how it looks out for male gender concerns.